I am aching to write, type away the thoughts in my head, put everything on paper, in black and white, words, beautiful words. Somehow I cannot do it today, I cannot give a form to my feelings. I am struggling since a long time now, thinking and thinking over and over again, and my head hurts. The story going on in my mind is nothing compared to the drama going on in my life. Reality is always stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense, but right now, nothing is making any sense whatsoever. I need some inspiration, some stimulus, a trigger, Carbs……..yes, and regular coke Please!
Let me tell you a story, the story of an ordinary girl, ………….and no, it is not my story, It has nothing to do with me, my shoes, my hands, or my crap life, or even crappier MUSE. How un exciting and Boring. Anything that is not about me is bland………so no story.
A Poem?? Out of question,
Can I reproduce a text conversation here? (have got a collection of some racy raunchy flirtexting) Too Risqué……..can’t wreck someone’s home or life, I like to be on moral high ground. (yes, I am smiling here too)
Hmmm………think, think about something, or someone, some body, anybody….. No Body???
This is not going anywhere, too many questions, not enough answers, no replies, The boner of existential crisis is poking hard at the pert bottom of my brain, they are making sweet love since a long time now, unable to conceive.
Some questions are hard to answer, but some answers are even harder to understand, all our lives we search for them, while all the time they are right in front of us, staring, sometimes smiling, at our inability to recognize them. We remain oblivious to the obvious, and the turmoil of not knowing and acknowledging is always tempting………………. And we wander, endlessly, trying to figure everything out, to understand the purpose of our existence, failing miserably, because some things just need acceptance, and acceptance requires Faith, faith in our own selves…………and that doesn’t come easy.
24th June, 2013.