This morning when I tucked into the most delicious cheese omelet my mum made for me and my friends at work, or I got engaged in “Egging”  I suddenly became aware of the fact that my biological clock is ticking very fast, and I don’t have much time left. Is it a bad idea to sell my eggs?? I am pretty, intelligent, don’t have any significant medical or psychological problems, not into drugs and being a social smoker doesn’t count. Does that make me an ideal donor??

No, I am not under the influence of any substance right now and I solemnly swear that while writing these lines I am sane and stone cold sober. I know, I should not talk about this stuff.  As a poised, Pakistani woman, I am not supposed to discuss or own, my femininity or fertility, it is so unacceptable …… probably more wrong than talking about sex..… or admitting that I…..( yes, you guessed it right, every one does it) ….… Any ways, let’s screw the norms and continue………

I did some research on the topic, online, and the first website that opened on the search engine said:

“If you are a healthy woman 18 to 35 years old, you can make a lot of money donating your eggs. I have compiled a small listing of companies that are looking for egg donations, but there are hundreds of similar companies out there. Perhaps it is in bad taste to say, but yes, you can earn more than a full-time income donating your eggs”.

So one cycle of donating eggs can get you around 10,000/- dollars, and in the current scenario of recession and downsizing it is a pretty good amount. Suppose, If I have produced ten eggs a year, and I have been doing it for nearly quarter of a century now……….. How much is twenty five times ten or lets be modest, five, thousand??? You do the maths. I am shitty with numbers, And talking about money is the only thing that makes me uncomfortable.

I am feeling the crunch right now, so anything Eggstra will help ………That website urged me to fill out an online application form and submit it with all my details, which I did, for strictly educational purposes, of course (just a little lie about my age), And got an immediate response, apparently my eggs are worth a LOT. (having a high IQ pays somewhere, and I have recently noticed my eye color). They are happy to pay for my travel, stay, and insurance as well. WOW………… I feel so Eggcited.

What if my eggs, like my thoughts and words, are, bizarre, random, rotten and unpredictable??


If I opt for that, my trip to the Land, where most of my friends reside, will be sorted. How badly I want to go and see them, you have got no idea. I hate the fact that they are asleep when I am awake, and I have to think a hundred times before I start any conversation with them, not knowing whether they are busy/pissed/stressed/driving/working or whatever. The distance puts a damper on everything. And a Cyber Hug doesn’t feel good anymore…………. Signing off with xx is just so…….. I don’t know…… normal…… Sigh!!

Suppose I sell a couple or few of them, or keeping in view my history, I will probably donate them.  What next?? Won’t I miss seeing the creature I have contributed half of the genetic material for?? Will that little person having half of my genes, will inherit half of my dreams, craziness and demons as well? I hope I won’t pass on the curse of brilliance ………  Will I just be using another human beings emotions and body as a scratch post for my own unfulfilled yearnings………… will I ever be able to hold, touch and breath in the delicious aroma of innocence, of the product. How will I justify my actions if one day, after twenty years, I come face to face with a living, breathing, thinking, soul……… I sold…………. Just to have the satisfaction that my legacy is alive……. Just to be sure that a part of me will exist in the universe…… can’t I be content that my words will stay…….…

Will it affect the grand scheme of things in any case?

Or should I opt for a cloning experiment and get myself cloned?

BTW no one is selling their eggs on E Bay yet.

Shit, Boldie is getting Broody!!!!!



23rd, August, 2013.



4 thoughts on “Eggstacy!

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