D is For………………….

Dreams, Desires, Dedication, Devotion, ………… Delusions………..Disaster, Despair, Distance, Demolish, ………………………………… Denial…………Dissolution…………..Divorce.

Is it healthy to stay in an un-happy relationship? Just because the thought of walking out and living apart from the person who is, or was once the love of your life makes you feel like you have been hit in the chest with a bullet, repeatedly. What if you just decide to agree that you are in a toxic, bad, relationship, and work your way around it, dealing with it, in misery……….but happy not be apart?

What if you love the other person so much that you actually want to consider that dumbass thought as an/only option??

What makes a relationship strong? Two words… Trust and Respect, the day they are gone, everything just goes up in smokes………….. Is Love enough to make everything work? Is it the only emotion that can keep two people together? I am sick of this explanation that love is the only glue keeping two people joined at the hip for the rest of their lives, No, it does and can NOT. Eventually you have to come out of the bed, and it is you, with all your troubles and twisted, tortured thoughts. And trust me, people who are most capable of hurting each other are always the ones that madly and badly LOVED each other Once……………………….. Familiar … eh?

In any relationship, when the balance of trust/respect/give/take is completely out, the bliss comes with this dark underside of bone crushing isolation, soul churning agony, corrosive insecurity and complete and utter dismantling and devaluation of a thing called self-esteem. The dilemma of every infatuation/love based relationship is that, it turns into an addiction, without you even noticing it, and when the object of your desires stops bestowing upon you the same dose of attention and response, due to any reasons, you get all the withdrawal symptoms. It turns you into a needy, clingy, psychotically neurotic, shivering mess of a junkie, you crave for more, and more, the worst part is, you know the other person has it, you used to get it for “FREE” for Fucksake.

The fact is that you suffer the easily foreseeable consequence of wavering dose of that hallucinogenic . Dependent, deponent…. The neediness just advances………. A never satiating hunger that just fuels the fire of detachment in the supplier. The hardest thing is to live with the emotionally detached, cold, aloof, solitary castaways. And they are so bloody irresistible. But one day you have to decide and stand up for yourself.

When everything put together, just falls apart, the question that arises it, weather to stay or let go. Trust me I know, how hard it is to walk out of a relationship, especially when you have taken the vows and exchanged the rings, but when vows turn into vengeance and the only ring that binds you is suffeRing, it is better to leave.  It hurts, it bleeds, it aches, it terrifies, but it gets better eventually. Do not hold back for the sake of holding back, do not move out for the same reason, give it your best shot, so you never have to deal with regrets, but once you know it’s over, It actually is OVER.  Happy endings is not always the best place to end up at.

Do not get scared of loneliness, it sounds scary but that place is not too bad, you just have to explore it yourself, for yourself. Here, the only way is forward, here you can just sit and let the world go by, at its frantic pace…….. just chill and lick your wounds clean, let them heal,  you can cover them up with food, alcohol, work, success, weed, cigarettes, sex, anything…  they will bleed and seep through the bandages but does it make any difference??………. own thy scars, feel decorated, adorn your bare soul ..…… be there, learn your way around it, make a map of it, listen to the silence, cry hard, mourn, you are entitled to enjoy every single second of this……. because this too shall pass…………. Give time, time to heal.

What will you have if you let go of “US”??…………..

Well For starters …..

The Rest of Your Life!!!……………… And that, my friend, is a precious entity.

Seemi.

27^th August, 2013.

©BoldieTalks. 

(For a Dear Friend)