A Lame, Lousy Post.

“She worked at a shithole, dominated by self-obsessed, opinionated, narcissistic, opportunistically chauvinistic dickheads…………………… Pure TPM (Typical Pakistani Men, No Pun intended here)….”

She pressed the backspace and erased the above mentioned thirteen words she managed to write after staring the laptop screen for more than three quarter of an hour, took a deep breath, and reminded herself to be politically correct and sensible …….. She recently mastered the art of acting Cute/dumb/ adorable ….. One or all of them, as and when required. For once, she was dead sure that this was not the right start for the story, or the “piece” she lovingly called her writelings.

SO she tweeted………

Don’t,

Please Do NOT!!!!!

(It was a note to self, but she did it anyways…..)

The day started as usual, she snoozed the alarm thrice and left the bed at quarter past seven. High on two hours of restless sleep, two mugs of tea, two B&H gold, she entered the giant monstrosity of glass concrete and steel, with pathetic light and poor ventilation. The place was unwelcoming, cold and clean. She went there every day for the sake of free WiFi, bad food and good company…….. today, was no exception.

Her creative juices were nearly dry, and the boner of existential crisis was poking hard at the pert bottom of her beautiful bizarre bohemian brain …………….. (That phrase is familiar, hmmm………. she remembered using it twice before, once as a text to an asshole and then again in one of her early blogs, ….. ) Oh Fuck, no one remembers those things in detail …………………. Probably soon, she will be held accountable for every word she wrote and every curse she spoke ………………. Every norm she broke and Each cracked joke ……..

A Lame, Lousy Post

She searched for some online radio station playing good hindi filmi music, her favorite Dhingana was shut down, apparently ripping off the music industry for a few million dollars yearly due to copyright infringement, leaving a short closing message at the web site, sinking a  $7 million investment from Lightspeed Venture Partners, Inventus Capital partners, and Helion venture Partners, and leaving her with no choice but to listen to other pirated songs playing websites, and the first song she listened to was “Bay Panah Pyaaar Haayyyy Ajjaaaaa” ………….. From Krishna Cottage, a song having multimillion memories associated with it, the song, that used to be Her song, the designated ring tone of his number on her Nokia 2300, in 2004 ………….. when she was young, ambitious, driven, focused, and madly in Love …….

Now she was working on a book ……….. you got the picture ………………. Right ????

Shreya Ghoshal Sang ……………………..

Thoughts raced across her mind, she re played the events from the day before, in her head …. And went out for a smoke break ………………. Early March midday breeze was mild and heavily polluted ….. it was a hazy day, probably less hazy than her conscious ………. She inhaled deeply and a sharp stab of pain shot across her left temple, there were floaters in her vision and her stomach ached ………….. She came back inside and sat, looked at her recently painted long nails and typed random words, that made no sense …………………………

Concentrate, concentrate ….. You can do it, she reminded herself.

She tried to re arrange her facial features into a soft, serene, non-threatening expression but failed miserably. She pretended to behave in a calm, collective and strictly professional manner. She knew that the world is all about maintaining an image, and her image as a carefree, rebel, was not doing her any favors. She thought about alternate career choices and made some plans for the future ……..

It was high time for a move, and she sensed and feared the uncertainty. Something, somewhere was not right, and it was not all in her head. The wiser self of her, that she normally kept heavily sedated or high on emotions, was sober that day, time was running out, and the game was On…. She had to run, there was no place to hide.

Accusations and assumptions were made, allegations prepared, they were not going to let her get away this time. She was in no mood for negotiations and compromises anymore.

She wrote an e mail and pressed …………………………….

Ctrl A

Followed by delete.

This battle was not worth fighting for.

It was the last date to pay the electricity/phone/Gas bill. She made a mental note to stop at the ATM machine on her way home.

She forgot to have any food, that day…………………… Too.

The start was not right, and the End of the “Story” seemed horribly wrong.

Perhaps it was not “The End” ………… Yet.

Seemi.

6th March, 2014.

©BoldieTalks. 

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15 thoughts on “A Lame, Lousy Post.

  1. I laughed at the idea of a TPM (I being one of them). Wanted to ask you where do you really work? No, that was just for fun’s sake – I know where you work!
    When I hear about twitter, I find it generally interesting and I know its hard to resist a tweet from posting once it is clear in you head.
    I feel he urge to switch career too – though have never written/deleted a “goodbye” mail. But then, if one is a bread winner for the family any career moves have to be made with a lot of care.
    I also miss on my food, yes, but that only for one time. My other half is kind enough to not let me go beyond that.

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  2. the life sucks …… and somehow we start realizing this freaken fact as we grow older …… kinda wish we were raised from day one with this in our head rather then rainbows and butterflies …… the greiesh black horizon of the low quality zero quantity with extinct self esteems of our adult life is miserable and pathetic …… on the contrary use your anger to push and move so ahead so that they can’t even begin to think to reach you and that my friend what you did is the right way to make these Mofo’s executed …….. make you own mind palace and just live two days in it just do what you want forget whats gonna happen next …….. have a box of ice cream and eat like a small kid with smarties or m&m’s in it throw some doughnuts and some sweet bread in it too and just finish the box with music you like just empty your head for just 2 hours and seee how does it looks like……

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  3. HI Seemi – you’ve obviously got story telling in your blood – so sure hope you’re joining us in the A-Z Challenge .. and we’ll see some of those tales along your April journey … enjoy your time .. cheers Hilary

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