Miracle!

Nothing made sense, especially the printed material on the Lab report he was staring at for last so many minutes, trying to understand the jargon, the numbers, figures and facts printed on the glazed A4 paper, with a signature and a stamp, cold hard bitter facts, declaring his fate, giving the verdict about what was horribly wrong with him ………….. This shit was more fucked up than he thought …………… More messed up than he imagined…… disastrous…….. He held his throbbing head in his hands and lit up a cigarette, the smoke came out of his mouth and made strange shapes, before disappearing in the air ……………… like a DNA helix, twisting, unwinding, and fading ………………… Only a miracle could save him ………. He needed her, badly, madly, desperately, she will know the answer, she always knew, he picked up his phone and dialed her number …………………

She got off at Manchester Piccadilly station platform 6 from Virgin Pendolino, still feeling dizzy and sleepy, this morning she barely managed to get aboard the fast train at Milton Keynes station, she was still trying to shake off the jet lag. She landed at Heathrow a couple of days ago and her body wasn’t ready to give up on Pakistan standard time and memories. Disoriented she headed to the loo, her next train was at platform 12A, in nineteen minutes ……… long walk…………….

She grabbed a weak Tea with milk and no sugar from AMT coffee with an Almond croissant, fumbled for some cash in the pockets of her grey Mac, and felt something cold, insensitive, distant ……… vibrating …….. she almost jumped when she saw the caller ID ………… This is not true, it can’t be happening ……….. Not today ……………..

The bell rang and rang, and then was the chirpy cheerful voice, asking to leave a message, and he left …………. A message ………… Call me, Please ………. Things were so different last week, he thought, she was there, so close, too close, and he remembered that sweaty September evening, she looked so fragile and vulnerable, that day …………… The day he had a heated discussion with his stern father and his faithful, virtuous wife ……… a typical hot, humid, loadshedding studded day, that ended in a bizarre and random way …………… Sigh!!! He thought he could get rid of her from his system …………. The phone buzzed …………. He knew he couldn’t ………….

Balancing her wheely wobbly suitcase, a large hand bag, a small tea and a calorie laden snack, she listened to the three words on her voice mail, instinctively she dialed the number, wedged her phone between her ear and shoulder and walked on the bustling platform ……. Cursing herself for calling him, ………..after that disastrous night ….. when he explained to her that there was no future for them, and he wanted to have peace in his life, he told her he had responsibilities, a wife who needed him, and it was hard for him, he reminded her that she was a big girl, who could take care of herself …….. He wished her all the best for the future, …………. Fuck the future,

A scream pierced her dry throat, and no voice came out ……….

just the usual tears and stuff ……………..

He told her that he wanted to start a family, have a child, and move on……… very lovingly. While she tried to catch her breath, and her body was still trembling …….. the aftershock …….. was HUGE!!!!

She silently got up and left ………. The bed, the room, the city, the bloody country, ……….

He picked up the trans continent call on the third ring and knew he will be ok. They talked, it was familiar, easy, like old times, he almost forgot why he wanted to talk to her, but he remembered and broke the news, the very bad news …………..

She listened ………..till the call dropped ……….. tripped and spilled the warm drink on her jaegar trousers and newly purchased suede brogues, she stood still…………… the train came and stopped, and she stepped in, slumped on the first available seat and tried to process the information …………. The vehicle moved and she stared at the random objects outside, it was raining, everything moved at a frantic pace, seemed watery, blurred …………. A kind hand offered her a tissue.

Come on love, it’s going to be alright………, two blue eyes smiled at her, she wiped her eyes and knew …………. Nothing is ever going to be ok ……… she cried …………………. Till it was sunny and bright again……………. Some resistant stains were left …………. on her high waist tailored trousers, her pricey shoes …………. and her shattered soul.

He felt sudden, severe, sharp, shooting pain in his chest, like something was torn, taken away and gasped for breath, the phone in his hand was quiet, there was silence around, complete and utter silence, he walked out of his office and drove on crowded, busy roads, he knew he had lost her, and for the first time in his life, he wished he hadn’t.

Wasting few hours wandering, he pressed the brakes of his car in front of his home ……. he wanted to tell everyone………. Confess, declare ……… the time was running out …………… thrusting the white paper in his designer jeans pocket, he entered the crowded living room.

All his family was sitting there, happy, chatting animatedly, laughing, his father was sitting beside his faithful wife, both having a smug and a satisfied expression on their faces…………. And then he saw a similar white paper in the lap of his wife, the same kind of paper, that declared him infertile……………….

Shit!!! They knew already, but why were they so happy?? …….. confused …. he moved forward and everyone got up to hug him, congratulate him, the pregnancy test of his wife came back positive ………………. Their eyes met, and she smiled, a shy, modest smile ………………. Before looking at her father in law and adjusting the slipping dupatta on her head……………

A scream pierced his dry throat, but no voice came out ………………

Just the usual tears and stuff……………

The miracle found its own fucked up way to happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seemi.

26^th September, 2013.